As I sit here pumping I can not help but wonder about the bathroom etiquette of people. I just attempted to go to the bathroom and someone had defiled my favorite stall with the longest pubic hair in the free world. I mean how do you not know you've left something like that behind? I know we criticize men for not putting the seat down, but come on ladies-we ARE supposed to be cleaner than this! I mean, this was no ordinary hair it was Sasquatch hair. So not only can I NOT sit down to use the stall, I couldn't even straddle it or hover because I am almost certain this hair would have wrapped around my leg and pulled me in.
This forces me to have to wrap an entire roll of toilet paper in a ball and shove this Sasquatch in to the bowl, flushed, never to be seen again. And why me? Why do I have to clear the landing zone? Why can't other people just do a spot check before exiting the stall? GROSS!!!!
Ladies, take note: I don't care how much YOU like it, NO ONE else wants to sit on your Sasquatch.
Show you care, contain your hair!
Blek!!!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
(Mobile Edition) Things Jumpin' Off At The Splash Pad...
How is it that crazy stuff always happens wherever I go? Do I have a magnet that draws crazy in to the path I travel? Take today for instance, typical day out, taking the kids to the splash park. As we were loading up the van to leave, Garrett was waiting to change his clothes, when the wind caught my door and blew it in to the Durango beside us. I looked and there was a tiny scuff that would easily rub off so I went about my business. (most likely dirt from our van)
Pretty soon a large teen male who was with the group (who appeared to be some sort of enforcer) starts circling the car. Inspecting the Durango beside me, he pats a large dent on the side of it that my van door hit. He looked at me like "yep.. Insurance time..yeeaaaauuh". Now, my door did hit theirs but no way it left that dent! That dent was far too high and was not consistent with a door ding. They probably saw us coming a mile away and were about to blame us for something that obviously happened before they got there and make our insurance fix it!
He just kept circling us giving us the stink eye. Things were starting to get tense. I was urging Garrett to hurry and get dressed because I could feel at any moment things were about to get nasty. These were the kind of people that we couldn't "talk things through with). I could see this situation could easily headline Muskogee Mugs tomorrow. Garrett was STILL trying to wiggle his wet body in to his dry clothes as I held a Mario towel for privacy. HURRY!!!! (incidentally the wind caught the towel and Garrett pretty much flashed the water park). Luke had loaded everything up and was keeping an eye on the LARGE group of people about to get "notified" by the enforcer. Luke was getting a bit nervous, and told Garrett to hurry (again). It seemed like an eternity!!!! Just then, I looked up and saw the "enforcer" pointing to our van then to the Durango as he approached the group.
Luke hollered, "just get in the car Garrett.. NOW, we gotta go, NOW". So Garrett jumps in half undressed. I slammed his door and jumped in the front. As I am trying to get the door shut, Luke is backing out. Our van was in total disarray. Kids screaming, tires squealing...I looked up to see the matriarch of the group exclaim, "What the &$@@", careful not to disconnect from her cell phone that she had been talking on the ENTIRE time at the park (about someone's, sister in laws, baby cousin.. Or something like that). She was in a fury. All I saw was fake nails, cell phones,cigarettes, and braids flying at us as Luke peeled out of the water park. Mario towels and t shirts flying out the window as I attempted to get the door closed. It was madness. But luckily, we got away from there before things too got ugly. Pretty crazy. Now, we are on our way back to safety in our tiny community (though eyeballing the rear view mirror) with a sound reinforcement of why we never want to live in Muskogee. Whew...
Pretty soon a large teen male who was with the group (who appeared to be some sort of enforcer) starts circling the car. Inspecting the Durango beside me, he pats a large dent on the side of it that my van door hit. He looked at me like "yep.. Insurance time..yeeaaaauuh". Now, my door did hit theirs but no way it left that dent! That dent was far too high and was not consistent with a door ding. They probably saw us coming a mile away and were about to blame us for something that obviously happened before they got there and make our insurance fix it!
He just kept circling us giving us the stink eye. Things were starting to get tense. I was urging Garrett to hurry and get dressed because I could feel at any moment things were about to get nasty. These were the kind of people that we couldn't "talk things through with). I could see this situation could easily headline Muskogee Mugs tomorrow. Garrett was STILL trying to wiggle his wet body in to his dry clothes as I held a Mario towel for privacy. HURRY!!!! (incidentally the wind caught the towel and Garrett pretty much flashed the water park). Luke had loaded everything up and was keeping an eye on the LARGE group of people about to get "notified" by the enforcer. Luke was getting a bit nervous, and told Garrett to hurry (again). It seemed like an eternity!!!! Just then, I looked up and saw the "enforcer" pointing to our van then to the Durango as he approached the group.
Luke hollered, "just get in the car Garrett.. NOW, we gotta go, NOW". So Garrett jumps in half undressed. I slammed his door and jumped in the front. As I am trying to get the door shut, Luke is backing out. Our van was in total disarray. Kids screaming, tires squealing...I looked up to see the matriarch of the group exclaim, "What the &$@@", careful not to disconnect from her cell phone that she had been talking on the ENTIRE time at the park (about someone's, sister in laws, baby cousin.. Or something like that). She was in a fury. All I saw was fake nails, cell phones,cigarettes, and braids flying at us as Luke peeled out of the water park. Mario towels and t shirts flying out the window as I attempted to get the door closed. It was madness. But luckily, we got away from there before things too got ugly. Pretty crazy. Now, we are on our way back to safety in our tiny community (though eyeballing the rear view mirror) with a sound reinforcement of why we never want to live in Muskogee. Whew...
Sunday, May 27, 2012
The Crazy Stuff that happens
As I sit here pumping, I am thinking about what just happened and can't help but laugh to myself....
I was awakened from a deep sleep at 2:00 am to the most horrible sound I've ever heard... Something like a squealing pig meets a freight train. It was my husband, he was very sick to his stomach and I could heard him all the way from the bathroom.
Earlier this evening: we roasted weenies with the kids and told ghost stories. Incidentally, we had told them at 2:00am this mangled person would come moaning at the front door.
So I stood there frozen. I knew at any moment all the kids would wake up screaming at the sound of the "moaning man", mistaking their dad's waling guts for that of the forewarned monster. Moments later, my husband emerged from the bathroom and told me he was going to take a bath to try and feel better. I laid back down and heard another crazy sound. Like a high pitched meowing and a duck quacking. I assumed it was my husband. Farting in the bathtub. I heard this sound a few more times. Poor husband. His stomach must have been really bad. Then I heard the same sound, but playing a tune. It was "The Yellow Rose of Texas". Could my husband really be farting? In the bathtub? To the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas"???
I decide to be brave. Sit the pumping aside. And go check this out for myself. I stood outside the bathroom door, listening carefully. Nothing. I walked back to the living room to finish pumping and heard it AGAIN. But this time, I could tell it was coming from my daughter's room. I went in to find her sleeping under her bed, rolling on a kitty cat piano from Target. I scooped her back in bed and went back to pump, finding myself so relieved that my sweet husband was not the bathtub melody maker I thought he was.
Later, he told me he heard the sounds also and assumed it was me!
I was awakened from a deep sleep at 2:00 am to the most horrible sound I've ever heard... Something like a squealing pig meets a freight train. It was my husband, he was very sick to his stomach and I could heard him all the way from the bathroom.
Earlier this evening: we roasted weenies with the kids and told ghost stories. Incidentally, we had told them at 2:00am this mangled person would come moaning at the front door.
So I stood there frozen. I knew at any moment all the kids would wake up screaming at the sound of the "moaning man", mistaking their dad's waling guts for that of the forewarned monster. Moments later, my husband emerged from the bathroom and told me he was going to take a bath to try and feel better. I laid back down and heard another crazy sound. Like a high pitched meowing and a duck quacking. I assumed it was my husband. Farting in the bathtub. I heard this sound a few more times. Poor husband. His stomach must have been really bad. Then I heard the same sound, but playing a tune. It was "The Yellow Rose of Texas". Could my husband really be farting? In the bathtub? To the tune of "The Yellow Rose of Texas"???
I decide to be brave. Sit the pumping aside. And go check this out for myself. I stood outside the bathroom door, listening carefully. Nothing. I walked back to the living room to finish pumping and heard it AGAIN. But this time, I could tell it was coming from my daughter's room. I went in to find her sleeping under her bed, rolling on a kitty cat piano from Target. I scooped her back in bed and went back to pump, finding myself so relieved that my sweet husband was not the bathtub melody maker I thought he was.
Later, he told me he heard the sounds also and assumed it was me!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Ponderings while pumping (the at work edition) 2:35
So, I hurt my toe today. Punctured with a piece of metal. I was so scared it was ripped it off I could barely look. So after I cleaned it up, I realized it was just a deep puncture. But wait! What if it could get infected? What if it had had to removed? How could I ever wear flips flops without having one constantly fly off??
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Ponderings While Pumping...May 24 2:16 am
After visiting a local Wal-Mart, I was faced with this question: why would a MAN wear a black bra? Under a WHITE shirt? Amateur.
Birth of a Blog!
My husband and I have three precious babies (I know we all say that, huh?). Garrett is 8, Emma Kate is 3, and our newest addition is Anna Grace, 5 months. Anna Grace is the the first one of my children that I have breastfed (why she is the first, I don't know). This journey has been interesting to say the least.
My daughter fed from my breast for the first three months. Along the way we'd battled a high palette, poor latch, and reflux on top of many other risk factors against Breastfeeding. From the beginning, I have had to pump to keep my milk supply up.
I returned to work when she was 3 months old and on my second day of working, she refused the breast. This led to a 28 day nursing strike. During this time, I pumped exclusively and put my milk in a bottle, since I had to do this while being away for work anyway. Pumping is just like breathing to me. It is necessary. Everything revolves around it. My husband and I joke that I didn't just have a baby, I had a breast pump. It goes everywhere I go. (Now my daughter did eventually breastfeed again but only at night). It is important to me that regardless of how she gets it, my daughter gets MY breast milk. Breast feeding has such an emotional and psychological hold on you, once you get in to it. Something I was not prepared for!
So back to pumping (always pumping). Pumping is just a way of life for me. In the beginning, I pumped with a Medela Pump in Style (great pump) but it took me about 45 minutes to pump. I would check out my Facebook and such while pumping. Pumping took so much of my time that, eventually, I ran out of interesting things to talk about on Facebook, other than pumping. So I began to post the same post everyday: "Ponderings while Pumping" and talk about whatever was on my mind at that moment. Ponderings while Pumping has kept me sane during maddening hours of pumping at all times of the day and night. And it wasn't long before I got a few followers who really wanted me to start a blog. So here I am, blogging... While pumping.
My daughter fed from my breast for the first three months. Along the way we'd battled a high palette, poor latch, and reflux on top of many other risk factors against Breastfeeding. From the beginning, I have had to pump to keep my milk supply up.
I returned to work when she was 3 months old and on my second day of working, she refused the breast. This led to a 28 day nursing strike. During this time, I pumped exclusively and put my milk in a bottle, since I had to do this while being away for work anyway. Pumping is just like breathing to me. It is necessary. Everything revolves around it. My husband and I joke that I didn't just have a baby, I had a breast pump. It goes everywhere I go. (Now my daughter did eventually breastfeed again but only at night). It is important to me that regardless of how she gets it, my daughter gets MY breast milk. Breast feeding has such an emotional and psychological hold on you, once you get in to it. Something I was not prepared for!
So back to pumping (always pumping). Pumping is just a way of life for me. In the beginning, I pumped with a Medela Pump in Style (great pump) but it took me about 45 minutes to pump. I would check out my Facebook and such while pumping. Pumping took so much of my time that, eventually, I ran out of interesting things to talk about on Facebook, other than pumping. So I began to post the same post everyday: "Ponderings while Pumping" and talk about whatever was on my mind at that moment. Ponderings while Pumping has kept me sane during maddening hours of pumping at all times of the day and night. And it wasn't long before I got a few followers who really wanted me to start a blog. So here I am, blogging... While pumping.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)